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You stupid SOB. You’re going to run out of time!
This was the first day of the rest of my life. It was about a year after my little trip to the ER. Another one of those pictures I can see in my mind like I am watching it on TV. It was about 2 p.m. on a bright sunny day in Denver. I was standing in my very nice home, in my very nice study, in front of my very nice desk. I remember saying almost out loud what I had always known: There has to be a better way.
It was like another switch flipped. A big one this time. I’d been carrying around with me the truth. That this was no way to live. I had and still have a fantastic life. But what about that 25 percent that wasn’t working? For me, it was probably more like 50 percent, and it was really not working. I was finally ready to stop living life the hard way.
In five seconds, I decided. Of course, we all avoid those life-changing decisions. Quite often there is no deadline or wake-up call to slap us around. My five-second moment was a blessing of enormous proportions. That is because I decided that I was finished trying to prove something to myself or others. I was done striving so hard. And a lot more. I never looked back.
What I Did Next
This was right around the crash of 2008. We sold the house and retrenched. We made some outward changes. Those were probably obvious and important, but they were small potatoes.
The big change began in earnest when, about six months later, I began a master's program in spiritual psychology at the University of Santa Monica (USM). It was a very special, intense, two-year journey through the most valuable training I could have ever gotten. Steeped in experiential learning, my work in the USM program created tremendous new knowledge. Not only new lenses, but tools, practices, and new ways of understanding.
My journey, going from “Old Don” to “New Don” has been a lot more than just getting my master's from USM. It’s been doing the work, learning, practicing, evolving. It’s ongoing.
Is first and foremost about deciding. Getting ready to make that decision is the first journey. It’s a process in and of itself. We have to get out of our way long enough to be able to feel what it would be like to have the 25 percent that’s not working hitting on all cylinders. We have to see that our great life can be even better and that that pursuit of going even higher is way worth the price of admission!
Change is something that can only come from changing our programming. From new understandings, new beliefs, new habits. We have to decide it’s worth it.
The New Don
I used to deal with stress, workload, need to achieve, all of those things, every day. Nowadays, I haven’t given up a thing – except a few trainloads of those things I don’t want. Imagine when you begin to remove all those things you don’t want. The clutter, the internal judgments, all the rest. You create a vacuum that fills with more and more of what you do want. More peace, joy, excitement, and business and financial success. I now go around saying, and I mean it, "The most stressful thing in my life is figuring out what to order off of a menu!"
My Secret Sauce
My secret sauce – As a business leadership coach, I help families in business, other business owners, executives, and professionals get clear on the 25 percent that isn't working. I mean clear. We slow it down and start creating powerful, lasting change towards more of what we want and less of what we don’t.
I have over 35 years of business and financial experience. As an Arthur Andersen partner, then building a substantial trust company operation, and then as a COO and CFO. I combine that with my master’s in psychology training from the University of Santa Monica. Most of my clients don’t want to talk to a shrink. However, they are keen to understand the interplay of the inside and the outside and to learn how to create everything they truly want. If this resonates with you, let’s talk.
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