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It begins with logic - I have conversations with people where very quickly we identify things that aren’t working for them. Let’s say you struggle with someone important in your life. It’s a big deal, but you keep trying to live with it. Trying to plow through. Knowing there is a cost. Knowing avoidance won’t work. Believing you can try another new tactic, perhaps. Whatever you’ve tried in the past hasn’t worked. Logic says: I would be better served to change this situation. It becomes as clear as day. Old scenario: Not good. New scenario: Quite good. You can use logic to evaluate the cost of status quo, financially, mentally, emotionally, comprehensively, today, and the trajectory into your future. When I work with someone, we slow it down and we see the logic. We find the clarity.
But you never even get there – You could, but most of the time you give up on your own thinking. Give up on what your own heart is trying to tell you. You abandon before you even see how much the need for change is clear and logical. Why? Because you don’t know how to change. You think it’s hard. You have no system. You've tried before to change this circumstance, sort of, and it hasn't worked. Better to just do what you do. Do more of those things you’re good at and that work for you. Don’t face those things that are not working for you. Just keep walking with that sharp rock in your shoe. Well, that’s a bad idea. But that’s just what people do. Really smart successful people. They know something is broken, but it doesn’t absolutely have to be fixed. If they don’t know how and don’t believe they can, they are going back to the default. Bad idea.
Deciding not to try – Above, I alluded to how there is a process to find the logic and clarity. Then I said, most often people don’t even get to that level of clarity. If you don’t think you can change the thing anyway, why go there? Just make it work. Default to what you are already doing.
Failure is failure to commit - Even when someone does get to a level of high logic and clarity about the critical value of this change. Are they ready to commit? NOTHING happens without big commitment. I work with people who are committed. That is game over. The thing is done. But people don’t commit. The change never gets off the ground. You don’t commit because you don’t really believe you can change. You don’t know how to change. Here’s one that jerks your own power right out of your hands: “The timing isn’t right”. And/ or perhaps you aren’t up to making the investment in yourself. Which is to say you don’t think you’re worth the investment. Bottom line is simple. You just aren’t willing to do what it takes. So, you don’t commit. You go back to whatever it is you do now. Your old programming continues to run you and you continue to create by default. You continue not getting everything you want.
Just Do This
I’d take a quiet hour or two with each of these, but that’s just me. Get out your pen and pad and let it fall out of you. 1. Identify three important elements that aren’t working for you. Life, business, job, relationships, whatever they are. ● Do not think about if you can change them or how you would change them. That is premature stifleation. (I made that word up, but I like it here!) 2. What would it mean to you to have those things? Dream big. What’s the cost of not having them? It’s your life. Or some slice of it. There’s the money, the impact on people you care about, how you feel every day. How you feel is everything. ● Not just today, but what will it mean to you over the months ahead, the years ahead and the rest of your life? What will it mean for you to be the master of your own life experience? ● Some people are motivated, among other things, by money. Nothing wrong with that. Universally I see people making more money when they learn how to live and create by design. Often, it’s multiples of whatever it was before. ● You still aren’t into the “if and how”. Just feel what it would be like to have that change you say you want. 3. Are you ready to commit? If not, what do you need to do to get ready? Even at this point, don’t go to the “if and how”. That will stop you in your tracks and shift you back to default living. ● If you can’t commit, it’s been an interesting exercise. ● If you do commit, your whole world is about to change. How will you anchor that in? How will you make that known? What unwavering agreements will you make with yourself and others? How will you support yourself? 4. Now start figuring out how you will create what you are committed to creating. You’ll figure it out. You’ve done way more challenging things than that already, have you not? ● I am not being glib. Creators can create. From big commitment comes big change. Go figure it out. Get the support you need. Evolve YOU and watch what happens!
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